120| ninety-nine.

yep. that's how many days until our wedding. i'm worried. but only because the wedding industrial complex tells me to be worried.

i actually wasn't counting until a friend of mine pointed out that it was 57 days until her wedding. then i had to go count.

it could be worse. another dear friend is getting hitched in eight days. so, really i feel rather ahead of the game.

it's been a long time coming. and it's still a little ways to go.

|image theknot, because they started this rebellion in me. |

119| in the margins.

i like talking about marginalization. mostly because i believe such a dialogue is healthy, and somewhat necessary to putting an end to marginalizing groups and individuals.

meg is talking about feminism and weddings today. it makes me ridiculously happy.

on the other hand, a local columnist in london {ontario} and i have been picking our battles this weekend over his ethnocentric column from a week ago. the column talks about his experience with a family of either "romanian or lebanese" origin, haggling with someone at a sears outlet store. hardly newsworthy. his assessment of the family as weird and his mocking of their experience was indeed very ethnocentric and hardly empathetic to the culture shock they likely experienced. anyway, it has resulted in a back and forth of comments from myself and from the blogger and a discussion about ethnocentricity and the marginalization of minorities in North American journalism. the discussion was interesting, even if i didn't change his opinion {it ended with "you're wrong, kate! you're wrong about canada and you're wrong about journalism-- i'm not sure if he realized that i'm a communications & canadian history major.}

| image yushimoto |

118| late nights and earlier mornings.

my best friend {and maid of honor} is up in ottawa visiting me, and has been for the last forty-eight hours. can i say that i'm so happy to have such a wonderful, amazing human being in my life? seriously. she's the best evar!!!! we spent the last few days exploring and re-exploring the city, trying on dresses, looking pretty, drinking, eating, sleeping in, and tomorrow we'll cap it off with my favourite brunch place. only because i have to go back to work. *sigh*

we saw the wedding venue tonight, and i kind of am realizing that things will slowly, but surely fall into place. it's a bit scary. and very exciting.

also, because of her visit, the earliest i've gone to bed in over a week has been 1:30. hopefully this will change tonight. but, i've become a little bit of an insomniac. in addition to many other things. consequently, i'm spending my night in front of a computer screen deleting people from facebook that i haven't talked to in a long, long time. for. the. win.

p.s. i promise that my blogs will become more interesting upon my return to the work environment.

117| decompressing by doing.

{or: how to have a really, really productive saturday}

today was my last saturday as an undergraduate student. this sounds really weird, and it is a really weird thing to mark, but i've sort of had a schedule for saturdays over the past four years that has involved brunch, grocery shopping, school work and an out of the house activity in the evening.

in light of the really long paper i've been writing, my sleep schedule was thrown off and i went ot bed at six thirty this morning, after falling asleep on the couch around four {thank you to those of you who sent me lovely messages of support and demands for me to go to bed between four and six-thirty}.

my day commenced with andrew's doing the crossword and my trying to remain perfectly silent while he did so. i am not so good at this. but it was a good test for me, and i started thinking of all the things i wanted to do today, given that the weather could not have been nicer if it had tried.

we brunched at jak's, one of my most favourite brunching places, and the patio was open, which was marvelous! we went shopping for him and found the most adorable top for our friend's daughter who is presently obsessed with wonderwoman. we went to bridgehead: i worked for two or three hours plugging in footnotes {over a hundred}, while he went and played catch with a friend {tee hee}. we then came home and i gardened, and gardened and gardened. we are going to have so many beets this year. gardening was followed by picnicking {hamburgers} on the grass in our yard, and then more schoolwork, and then baking.

this might have been one of the busiest days i've had in a long time. but, it's also been one of the most enjoyable!

happy saturday!

116| window shopping, living rooms

i'm an awful blogger. really, and truly. i'm also an awful spender. i do however, have four weddings, two anniversary parties, a broadway show, my convocation and a great deal of brunches on patios to attend this summer, and only one dress to spare {which i am presently sporting}. and otherwise, i'm spending wisely.

however, there will be a large purchase in august. a new sofa is coming into our living room {andrew's parents are amazing and are footing the bill as a wedding gift}.

having worked at ikea in the sofa department, i understand the sofa to be the most critical piece of furniture in your living room. or at least, the seating area in general as being the msot critical. so, we hummed and we hawwed {does haw have two Ws as a past tense? amanda? anyone?} and we decided on this little lovely sectional that will look lovely in our current apartment...

but, now i'm left with the question of "what do we put with it?" it's much more modern than our current sofa, and is leather {i'm going to hell, i'm aware of that...andrew really wanted leather, so leather it is}. We have the rest iof the furniture quite well sworted out, but I think such an event might call for a few accessory pieces...

jenna rose pillow, $60

andrea rund carpet {ikea}, $299

wall decal, $18

115| neglect.

yikes, it has been a very, very, very long time since i have written. it's a bit sad. but my life has bceome consumed by really and truly two things. which i love dearly, but are too much at once...

• the end of my work contract
• my term paper on david bowie/glam rock/ homosexuality

last night was a very late night, followed by an early morning. and i felt as though something was missing. i was looking through mouse's blog {currently occupied by the lovely amanda} and came across some eddie izzard, who might be my favourite comedian of all time. and it broke it. i have had this serious, i have to do everything right, and right away atmosphere hanging over me for the past week, and eddie broke it. thank god!

i had been neglecting laughter, and smiles, and beautiful things. pretty things. yes, eddie izzard is pretty.

i was searching through my bag for my lunch, and found to my shock and dismay, my engagement ring. i thought it had been on my bedside table all this week, but not that i think about it more, it was actually in my bag, from the gym, which i finally had with me again today {something else that i have been neglecting}.

i picked up the ring, held it, examined it, and promised it not to forget about it for a very, very long time {i'm at the point where i don't feel anymore naked with or without it...}

anyway, i'm back. i promise. at least for a little while.

image waleed

114|

“Success is never final. Failure is never fatal." 

i'm sitting in the library, where i should arguably be reading on rock and roll as a cultural practice. however, it's been a sort of a bitch of a day. but, only because i'm allowing it to be. the train was forty-five minutes late, i happened to try to do all my errands over lunch, forgetting that the rest of the world eats around then to, and it turns out my application for graduate scholarships failed. 

given that the application was a yes or no sort of deal, and that the scholarship was in the neighbourhood of 10K per year, it feels a bit epic on the fail scale. but, failure is an event. not a person. and i should arguably be celebrating the opportunity to create more debt for myself {debt, which will be paid off much sooner than most, because it will nonetheless be on the small side}. as unfortunate as it is.

i now return to my regularly schedule program of reading, wrting and editing in such a fierce way one would think that i were a monkey at a type-writer.

i promise, that this blog will become more wonderful in the coming weeks.

113| reminiscence, present

i have but one exam this term, my final exam, of undergraduate school. it's tomorrow {today} at nine a.m. go figure, one exam and it's a saturday morning.

the topic is easy. introduction to canadian studies. and the exam is only worth 35%, a fraction of a half-credit course. and i'm doing quite well in the other 65% of the course. it's not that i don't want to do well in the exam, because i do. but between my sizeable term paper on bowie, and the end of my government contract, i have had more on my plate than was manageable.

so, here i sit at three a.m., some six hours before my exam, contemplating the last four years of studying, and exploring. reminiscing before it's over. a girl i had courses with will leave for her first full-time job in the north tomorrow. and, i of course, am cramming for this exam. except not really.

because if university has taught me one thing, it that knowledge is power, but being quick off the draw in acting on that knowledge is possible more important. 

right now, however, all i can think is "man, when i lived in residence, i could get upten minutes before my exam and stroll into the room in pyjamas". but for the part where i never did that.

|image vermontferret |

112| quarante pour trente.

{or, forty for thirty, if you're an anglophone.}

a lot of people lately have been challenging themselves. rachel did it by not shopping for a really, really, really long time. twelve whole weeks. that's 84 days of saying "no, thank you. i don't think i need this". tenthousandonly vowed yesterday that she was going to run three miles for thirty days.

but, as we've discussed i'm already working towards being a rational, sane consumer in a way that i wasn't before. and i hate running. not only do i hate running, but my knees hate it, and i don't really want a knee replacement at 30, thank you.

so, i am promising that i will bike {on the incumbent} for forty minutes for thirty days. mostly because i need to get my ass back into shape after easter. but also because i plan on doing this alongside other exercise {ie. weights, stairs, ultimate} and it'll be a good motivator.

i'm one of those people who cannot exercise alone. and if i'm alone, i need music. and so, my music selection has been dwindling lately, aside from a new-to-me neko case cd. so, could you pretty-pretty-please propose a few songs that would make my heart race while i'm on that bike for the next thirty days?

merci beaucoup!

111| twirling around the courtyard.

i love the little things in life. i had the most marvelous lunch in ages. i strolled around the market. i went to the paper store, and bought paper for a surprise for andrew's birthday {and an envelope for a job application}. i bought two figs that were juicy and delightful, and a pear that was crunchy and crisp. i bought fizzy water and pumpkin soup that was savoury and satisifed me as much as soup can {which for me, is a lot}.

i wanted desperately to twirl around the courtyard, but my hands were a bit full. so, instead i smile at the sun, and thanked it and walked on. only to find in the next courtyard over a little girl twirling with her doll.

image yoshiko

110| dress to impress.

found. one very lovely, well-priced dress, unique and ideal for the following:

• 3 weddings
• convocation
• countless brunches
• reading under trees.

hurray. now, if only they can special order my size!

109| untitled.

my final day at practicum, and what am i up to? yep. photoshop. playing around with fun pictures of other people`s weddings. or celebrations. because really and true, a wedding is just a big kick-ass celebration that you don`t ever want to forget. and that is what my wedding is going to be.

the more i thought about all of this, the more i realized the importance to me, of being practical. and yet, being fun. but not too frivolous. also, for the record, captions marked with an asterik will be used in our wedding. as in, this is what this puppy is going to look like. {which only raises the question what the whole day will smell, sounds and taste like!}

from top left...

1. invitations from ello there *
2. strawberry jam from martha
3. merit badge, "for tying the knot", leemeszaros
4. bouquet from oncewed by way of tenthousandonly *
5. twig ring set from esdesigns *
6. wedding poster from ello there *
7. photograph from littlecookies
8. pom poms from pomlove * {we will be making our own, thank you}
9. cake from the girl with the most cake * {only uses buttercream. oh. so good}
10. dress from debra mcclinton via real simple
11. cake plate from eddie ross
12. photograph from photosforlife * {while we won`t be using mike the photographer, this is our venue}

108| temper, short.

perhaps, it's just me. but a four day weekend lends to a lot of time in social butterfly mode. as much as i truly love my family and friends, at this junction i feel a bit like being a hermit. 

which, for the blogging world is great, because i do my bestest blogging when i'm feeling antisocial.

107| weekend, long

this weekend never wanted to end. and in someways, i think i was glad for that.

i took so many pictures, did so many things. ate so much chocolate. i relaxed. i slept. i watched back to the future with my niece. i ate more chocolate. i played tag. i fell down the slide and smacked my shin, leaving a huge bruise. but i did not cry. i read and a wrote, and i was read to. i baked. and i cooked. and i shopped. and i spent time with some family and some friends. 

it was my favourite things amplified. this is sort of what i want our wedding to be like. and yes, if you tag my on my wedding day, i will run after you. which is precisely why i'm not wearing heels.

106| mallow, marshes

favours are one thing that andrew & i haven't really talked about. well, we've talked about it. we jsut haven't made a decision. i like the idea of giving something, especially with guests coming from out of town. he likes the idea too, but we both find some of the favours we've experienced to be tacky. then again, there are a lot of things about weddings that are tacky.

i came across these this morning though, and thought that they would be most delicious and practical, and easy to make... i just don't like the idea of food as a favour, and i never have. but if i can get around that, this might just be the ticket!

in the meantime, i'm going to be baking all weekend for friends and family, and i can't wait! i promise to take things more slowly this weekend, and actually get a few photos out.