128| flailing.

i am flailing. it has been very nearly a week since i blogged. my job is redunant, but my work has ricidulously high security. so, blogging has been left to evenings and weekends. but evenings and weekends are taken up now with friends and family and all sorts of necessary things. none of which are bad, but they are very time consuming.

this weekend, for example, started with a very lovely evening celebrating the anniversary of one of my professors. man, she knows how to party! it was held at a really cool, ecclectic cafe nearby, and there were lots of nibblies and bevvies, and great music. moreover, jen is quite good at hosting. she was really able to introduce people fully and trying and find little connectors between them (for me, this meant finding myself amongst a really cool professor of political science and an archivist). honestly, andrew didn't feel at all awkward amongst the learneds.

it reminded me about the purpose of marriage, and being present in the moment. sounds funny, sure. but truly, it reminded me of all the things to look forward to once the glitter has fallen off and the wedding blogs become a less regular part of my life (eep).

today involved andrew working, me running and running errands. by the time he got home, he was zonked. we went out for pizza and beer, and it was nice. but, he was tired and has called it a night, even though i wanted serious one-on-one time.

oh well.

next weekend, we're at a friends' cottage. the week after that is andrew's mother's birthday, my convocation and visit one of three from my parents. i haven't figured out yet how to deal with all the sh*t my father has thrust upon me. nothing about this is cut and dry and our wedding only two months from now, it's become a whole lot less so. blarg.

all of this is to say, i'm sorry that i've been blogging less. really, right now i want to be blogging more.

126| three months out, both feet in.

so for ignoring you all in the last week {all three of you?}. i started a new job with the municipal government that has very high restrictions on internet access {blogger won't let me sign in, but it will let me read blogs}. i also had the stomach flu, so yeah.

the week was ridiculously busy.

we settled on "catering".
by which i mean we talked to my friend sara, who cooks wicked good food. and we've hired her. and i'm so delighted about this. one very large thing to cross of our long list.

we went to the places that we registered at, and added and removed a few things. a rice cooker is simply something we don't have space for.

i've decided on maybe a parasol, or maybe not. so, i haven't decided.

also, i'm in the process of baking a cake for andrew's niece.

long weekend, you are going by too quickly.

124| five-hundred dollars for chairs.

this is a charivari chair. aesthetically, it is one of the prettiest chairs i have ever seen. it holds historic sentiment in much of french canada as a folk custom originating in france whereby the community would clammor about if they didn't approve of the marriage. they would hoist the bride up on to one of these chairs and carry her through the city. should she still make it to her wedding night, they would stand outside the newlyweds room and make lots of noise so as to show disapproval. charivaris still take place to this day, with one recorded in 2008 in atlantic canada with people using more modern noisemakers, this time to show their approval. wikipedia cites a charivari as a "mock-seranade". i just think it's a cool part of north american french history.

however, it turns out that our party rental place has charivari chairs. for $10 a piece. but there's no way i can rationalize spending $500 on chairs. can i? {for the record: i could, but i don't think andrew would go for it}. i need to go see what kind of chairs there are at the venue again.

also, when did i become so concerned with the aesthetics of what my guests are sitting upon? someone?

122| lists.

clearly, i'm in a blogging mood today {i also have fifteen minutes to kill until the end of my work morning and the much anticipated lunch out}.

so, what did i do with the first five of the fifteen minutes? why, i looked at the knot.com, of course, like any insane bride would. right then. there are one-hundred-and-eighty-four things on my "list" to be completed. i checked off all the ones that i thought didn't apply to me/him/us/our wedding/our party {as my father is now calling it, because there are no aunts, uncles invited, and therefore it can't possibly be a wedding}.

there were still twenty-one things. more manageable, sure. but twenty-one things. it's still a lot of pressure to do and check and make and think and participate in this grand scheme.

actually, there were only twenty. i left one unchecked because i thought it was the most ridiculous thing i had ever heard. ever.

Brides: Choose your bridesmaids' accessories (shoes, gloves, etc.) and either purchase or pass along purchasing information.

you know, because my bridesmaid is not twenty-three and cannot make these types of decisions on her own.

when she {steph} was in town this week, we went to a nice trendy dress shop and bought her a nice, cute dress, that she looks incredible in. she wanted to buy it right away. i told her we should take a second look. and we did. but in te end, she was right. and i trusted her. and she will look incredible. without. doubt.

the strange thing about the knot is that it is so redunant. you're supposed to do the same things every month. it doesn't make a lot of sense. the words "submit your wedding anouncement" appears in five different sentences in five different months {although, i think the knot assumes that we are supposed to have engagement announcements and wedding announcements as separate entities. we have neither, thankfully}.

it reminds me of the instructions on a box of tea:

1. open box
2. remove sachet of tea
3. boil water
4. unwrap string from sachet
5. procure cups and teapot
6. place sachet in teapot
7. when water has reached its boiling point, pour water into teapot
8. let tea steep
9. once the tea has steeped to your liking, pour into cup(s)
10. enjoy
11. remove tea sachet before the tea becomes too strong

it's tea, for heaven's sake. and that's kind of how i feel about this wedding business: as long as i am married at the end of the day, and as long as i have had my share of cake and ice cream, i will be very, particularly delighted and it will have been a marvelous success of a wedding.

image my own {from where i hope to have our photos done.}

120| ninety-nine.

yep. that's how many days until our wedding. i'm worried. but only because the wedding industrial complex tells me to be worried.

i actually wasn't counting until a friend of mine pointed out that it was 57 days until her wedding. then i had to go count.

it could be worse. another dear friend is getting hitched in eight days. so, really i feel rather ahead of the game.

it's been a long time coming. and it's still a little ways to go.

|image theknot, because they started this rebellion in me. |

110| dress to impress.

found. one very lovely, well-priced dress, unique and ideal for the following:

• 3 weddings
• convocation
• countless brunches
• reading under trees.

hurray. now, if only they can special order my size!

109| untitled.

my final day at practicum, and what am i up to? yep. photoshop. playing around with fun pictures of other people`s weddings. or celebrations. because really and true, a wedding is just a big kick-ass celebration that you don`t ever want to forget. and that is what my wedding is going to be.

the more i thought about all of this, the more i realized the importance to me, of being practical. and yet, being fun. but not too frivolous. also, for the record, captions marked with an asterik will be used in our wedding. as in, this is what this puppy is going to look like. {which only raises the question what the whole day will smell, sounds and taste like!}

from top left...

1. invitations from ello there *
2. strawberry jam from martha
3. merit badge, "for tying the knot", leemeszaros
4. bouquet from oncewed by way of tenthousandonly *
5. twig ring set from esdesigns *
6. wedding poster from ello there *
7. photograph from littlecookies
8. pom poms from pomlove * {we will be making our own, thank you}
9. cake from the girl with the most cake * {only uses buttercream. oh. so good}
10. dress from debra mcclinton via real simple
11. cake plate from eddie ross
12. photograph from photosforlife * {while we won`t be using mike the photographer, this is our venue}

107| weekend, long

this weekend never wanted to end. and in someways, i think i was glad for that.

i took so many pictures, did so many things. ate so much chocolate. i relaxed. i slept. i watched back to the future with my niece. i ate more chocolate. i played tag. i fell down the slide and smacked my shin, leaving a huge bruise. but i did not cry. i read and a wrote, and i was read to. i baked. and i cooked. and i shopped. and i spent time with some family and some friends. 

it was my favourite things amplified. this is sort of what i want our wedding to be like. and yes, if you tag my on my wedding day, i will run after you. which is precisely why i'm not wearing heels.

106| mallow, marshes

favours are one thing that andrew & i haven't really talked about. well, we've talked about it. we jsut haven't made a decision. i like the idea of giving something, especially with guests coming from out of town. he likes the idea too, but we both find some of the favours we've experienced to be tacky. then again, there are a lot of things about weddings that are tacky.

i came across these this morning though, and thought that they would be most delicious and practical, and easy to make... i just don't like the idea of food as a favour, and i never have. but if i can get around that, this might just be the ticket!

in the meantime, i'm going to be baking all weekend for friends and family, and i can't wait! i promise to take things more slowly this weekend, and actually get a few photos out.

93| china, the dinnerware not the country

is it friday yet? let me start off by saying that i have been so inspired by so many pretty things to covet this morning. who the heck introduced me to shoestring? ah, yes. rachel, thank you...*sigh* so many pretty things, where to begin?

right, with last night's great china debate. andrew + i thought we had decided on our china {see above}, but over the past week or so i convinced myself i wasn't sold. i visited the company's website, and discovered that they fall into the "nice, but i question the quality of your product" cateogry of things, and really i don't want china that only lasts five years.

we went back to the place we registered and took a second look. i winced. andrew accepted defeat, and i tried to convince him of a lovely set that had birds on it. if only i were snow white.

it felt a little like wedding dress shopping. everything had to be "just perfect", except that i will be using this china for the next twenty-five or more years. which means that i should be able to:

• dishwash it.
  
• feed a crowd for a variety of different events on it.
  
• not fret too much about my child{ren) carrying it
  
• scrape it with a knife without mortal fears.
  
• dishwash it again.
  
• be able to pull it our for the day that real simple visits our house to do a photoshoot {ha} without panicking that it was completely in style when we received it, but lord does it look kitschy now.
  
• place it in multiple houses without it looking "off".
  
• dishwash it yet again.

i spent the morning on macy's website. why canada does not have a macy's is beyond me. i will in fact be making every effort to stop there when i go to new york. anyway, i have it narrowed down to four, which are below...

top left: martha stewart by wedgwood
top right: red blossom by mikasa
bottom left: gardner street by kate spade
bottom right: june lane by kate spade

so, faithful readers, which do you like the most? why? and do you know of anywhere in ontario that stocks kate spade?

89| window shopping, weddings

i know the world loves weddings. so do i. but i've also been coming across a few quirky things that made me go "wow, i want that at our wedding". and for the most part, andrew agrees. exhibit #1: a comment from nicole on 2000dollarwedding about her options for RSVPs:

____ Will attend with bells on
____ Will attend, free of bells
____ Will attend, undecided on bells
____ Will not attend, heard there will be people wearing bells
____ Will not attend, regardless of bell controversy

i couldn't stop laughing, and almost contacted our design guy to see if this was an option {even though the invitations already arrived}.

anyway, without further ado, a few things that i *really* would like to see at our wedding, which you won't find on theknot

galvanized buckets from ikea, for drinks, $10

vintage flash cards, for table numbers, $5

jam, in this case from julianas jam {but we will be making our own}, $4.50

bird, to be our ring "bearer", from BrooklynRehab, $14

84| come & find a lover {underneath the covers}

guess. what. appeared. in. our. mailbox. yesterday?

invitations.

eeeeee.

i must say andrew + i look mighty cute as owls. i claim i'm the red one because it looks smarter. then again, the blue one looks more indecisive and i *did* spend half an hour debating addressing options {to no avail}.

what'dya think?

75| ceci n'est pas un trend...

back in second-year communications, we were shown the work "the treachery of images" {la trahison des images, 1928/1929} painted by rene magritte. the work {a drawing of a painting of a pipe} is used to show that images are not actually things, but rather mere representations. wow, i suddenly feel like i got my money's worth in tuition.

"the treachery of images" has been reproduced in popular culture for several decades now, including the simpsons' "ceci n'est pas un couch gag" couch gag and in a handful of video games. but it's becoming more a recent trend...

i think my favourite representation of this can be found here, or here. partly because i'm not a big fan of ties, but at a wedding you have to have a tie. so, andrew might as well wear a non-tie tie.

69| window shopping, spring fling

this weekend, the gap brand {old navy, gap, banana republic and piperlime--for those in the states} is running its family & friends weekend, with 30% off everything. i went to old navy and gap yesterday and picked up some springtime lovelies. thank heavens my office is heated.

do you think i could pull off the american eagle dress for the wedding?

banana republic, $59

havaianas, $20

american eagle, $44.50

pursecution, $25

64| in creeps the morning, and another day's lost.

i slept for eleven hours last night. a new record for weekday sleep without sickness. i made up for all of this with some high-octance productivity.

• early morning class, on the wonderful and interesting topic of sex education, and the history thereof {side story: i very much got caught twittering last week in class, so luckily the topic was of adequate interest that my laptop stayed put. lesson learned}
• wonderful coffee with mikael, and talking of new york trip {eeeee.}
• finding out that i-got-into-grad-school {eeeee.}
• a nice, long, leisurely trip to fabric stores with the mother of a friend.

said trip led to a long, leisurely stroll through bridal stores. and finding a very wedding-y, very lovely dress. that i would never wear again. that is completely impractical. that made me feel like i was covered in this marvelous sugary wedding dust. i was in a daze the car trip home. this is everything that i do not stand for {also, it had a marvelous boustierre that made me feel so sexy, and like i could do anything and still look good}.

steph is right. deep down, i'm a girl. ick.

{practical stuff: the dress is only $450. the materials to make said dress would cost nearly $350. the shoppe selling it is barely breaking even. sure, it's four times what i wanted to spend. on the other hand, it's one-tenth what a friend spent way back when}

63| schemes, be gone!

when andrew & i first got engaged, we waited an awfully long time to tell people. we got engaged six weeks after first meeting. it sounds crazy, but i file it under "when you know, you know".

when we first started wedding planning {a full fix months into our relationship}, i had envisioned this as our colour scheme...

i think this was the second colour scheme we had talked about. the first being tiffany blue and bright red.

can i tell you how absolutely, utterly exhausted i am of colour schemes? i was talking with my bridesmaid* about dress colours, and the dress that we both love doesn`t come in a green or red that i like. furthermore, our invitations don`t have a hint of red or green. lastly, i think our flowergirls** would look better in green, but then, they wouldn`t match the bridesmaid.

all of this is to say, screw the scheme. i want our wedding to be pretty, and fantastic. but i don`t need to stay within the lines of the colouring book for goodness sake.

sara was talking last week about the first thing that people say to you when you get engaged: "oh! that`s wonderful! let`s see the ring!" {sometimes without the "oh! that`s wonderful" part}. i really feel as though the second or third thing that is said is "what`s your colour scheme?".

wedding industrial complex, i truly hope that this recession takes a nice big bite out of you. reality, i need you appearing in my dreams a little more often. please.

*singular because my other bridesmaid ditched me for a trip to italy. not that i am holding a grudge. goodness no. it`s merely that i asked her some 18 months ago.
** we have two because we have two of everything. except bridesmaids. oh well.

50| saturdays are for...

• ...getting your ass to the gym at ten, only to have said ass subsequently kicked by your trainer {thrilling. i hate squats}
• ...shopping in the market for delicious things and bakeware {for today's cookie making}
• ...seeking out registries, and finding things to put on them
• ...eating delicious sushi, dim-sum style, and catching up with a friend
• ...enjoying some red wine and playing wii.

needless to say, it was a pretty busy day {we spent four hours doing registries}.

46| gadgets + weddings.

my favourite + my best and i have a very large selection of pots, pans, and odds and ends that make a house a house. we want things that will make our house more of a home.

a lot of the stuff are things which we brought from our singlehoof: his tv, his couch, my tea kettle, his coffee table, his bookshelf, my bookshelf, his poang chain, his plates. he lived by himself before we met, while i sort of just nudged my way after annuling a deal with roommates {i was spending four or five nights a week there, so it made more sense}.

i don't like the idea of having a wedding to get gifts, in fact i hate it {there's currently a couple who are asking for donations online. from strangers. yeah, i know.} however, given that our friends are too generous to just come to the wedding and hang out and eat and have a good time, we are creating a registry. also, my parents' 25th wedding anniversary is the following september, and there will be a joint party at their place, and there will be more people, and more opportunities for generosity.

but, we're happy with our ikea plates, and we don't have anywhere for a second sofa {as badly as we nede a new one}. a bbq is out until we buy a place. and quite frankly, we have more glasses than we can shake a fist at {but perhaps, if we shook a fist at them, some would break and we would need more}.

so, i've put forth the motion that we will be registering for four traditional items:

• an oversized afghan.
• taika cutlery {my family in germany has the same set. it is soooooo incredible}.
• a blender.
• a nice set of dishes that we can use for sunday dinners, with company, and with one another before we get to the sunday dinners and company stage of our life.

don't ask me where we're finding that last one.

other than that, it's going to be a bizarre collection of odds and ends, cute things that we don't need, but are nice-to-haves, and a selection of things that involve doing. camping. skiing. travelling. cooking {but, for us. cooking lessons, per se}. things we enjoy doing, things we will learn from, things which will strengthen us as a couple.

40| joyful hearts ensue.

andrew + i decided on wedding invitations yesterday, after a long and hearty battle with each other, and many printers. sadly, it seems that printers need margins, and we just aren`t down with that.

furthermore, we want something simple. a conversation a few weeks ago with a friend revealed this:

me: well, we have the cake and the venue
friend: all you need is a judge then
me: well, the real pickle is invitations, right now.
friend: you know, you could just invite people.

so much for simplicity {his wedding had close to five times the number of guests we expect to host}.

that said, it`s one more thing to cross off the "list of things to lead to marital bliss" {ha}. why is it that the lists on theknot are more than 180 items long?

credit ellothere

36| brides, i don't wanna be one of those.

thirty-six posts into this blog, and i still haven't mentioned my fiancé. probably, possibly, because i am in wedding denial. or, i was. i don't really love this whole wedding planning thing {aspects of it}, because it all seems so very cookie cutter, like the McMansions in the suburbs, and a lot of things associated with womanhood, there is only one way to do it, supposedly.

i am, however, engaged to my favourite and my best, as i call him. it's been a motherload of a long engagement {36 + months by the time we tie the knot. we did get engaged six weeks after our first date, and i was nineteen}. which is maybe why i've hated the planning up until now. or, maybe it's because i'm indecisive.

suddenly, however, i have found myself caught in a whirlwind of choice-making, which i am not very good at. and, so, faithful readers {all five of you}, stay tuned for more wedding-like talk. i promise, it won't actually be wedding-talk, but just rather my mocking of the wedding industrial complex.

a dear friend, in regards to other friends' invites: wow, wedding magnets! with the date! what a neat idea? who though of those?

me: the wedding industrial complex.