improved. but certainly not new.

for anyone who missed me, i can now be found at my slightly more, but not always, professional blog

the past is prologue

my life is now public history, design, being a wife, cooking (not for my husband!) and vaccine clinics. please be advised ;)

128| flailing.

i am flailing. it has been very nearly a week since i blogged. my job is redunant, but my work has ricidulously high security. so, blogging has been left to evenings and weekends. but evenings and weekends are taken up now with friends and family and all sorts of necessary things. none of which are bad, but they are very time consuming.

this weekend, for example, started with a very lovely evening celebrating the anniversary of one of my professors. man, she knows how to party! it was held at a really cool, ecclectic cafe nearby, and there were lots of nibblies and bevvies, and great music. moreover, jen is quite good at hosting. she was really able to introduce people fully and trying and find little connectors between them (for me, this meant finding myself amongst a really cool professor of political science and an archivist). honestly, andrew didn't feel at all awkward amongst the learneds.

it reminded me about the purpose of marriage, and being present in the moment. sounds funny, sure. but truly, it reminded me of all the things to look forward to once the glitter has fallen off and the wedding blogs become a less regular part of my life (eep).

today involved andrew working, me running and running errands. by the time he got home, he was zonked. we went out for pizza and beer, and it was nice. but, he was tired and has called it a night, even though i wanted serious one-on-one time.

oh well.

next weekend, we're at a friends' cottage. the week after that is andrew's mother's birthday, my convocation and visit one of three from my parents. i haven't figured out yet how to deal with all the sh*t my father has thrust upon me. nothing about this is cut and dry and our wedding only two months from now, it's become a whole lot less so. blarg.

all of this is to say, i'm sorry that i've been blogging less. really, right now i want to be blogging more.

121| last.

goodbye greenbelt staff, fair thee well.

i'm one of three staff of the eight-person branch leaving in the next three months. david bowie's song changes is playing my head. it'll be good for the branch, and for the department, but damn: i'm going to miss it.

next monday, i start talking about swine flu in the municipal government. i feel a bit like a substitute teacher, but for the federal government. i like wearing the different hats, but it's hard not making connections and settling down a little bit.

120| ninety-nine.

yep. that's how many days until our wedding. i'm worried. but only because the wedding industrial complex tells me to be worried.

i actually wasn't counting until a friend of mine pointed out that it was 57 days until her wedding. then i had to go count.

it could be worse. another dear friend is getting hitched in eight days. so, really i feel rather ahead of the game.

it's been a long time coming. and it's still a little ways to go.

|image theknot, because they started this rebellion in me. |

115| neglect.

yikes, it has been a very, very, very long time since i have written. it's a bit sad. but my life has bceome consumed by really and truly two things. which i love dearly, but are too much at once...

• the end of my work contract
• my term paper on david bowie/glam rock/ homosexuality

last night was a very late night, followed by an early morning. and i felt as though something was missing. i was looking through mouse's blog {currently occupied by the lovely amanda} and came across some eddie izzard, who might be my favourite comedian of all time. and it broke it. i have had this serious, i have to do everything right, and right away atmosphere hanging over me for the past week, and eddie broke it. thank god!

i had been neglecting laughter, and smiles, and beautiful things. pretty things. yes, eddie izzard is pretty.

i was searching through my bag for my lunch, and found to my shock and dismay, my engagement ring. i thought it had been on my bedside table all this week, but not that i think about it more, it was actually in my bag, from the gym, which i finally had with me again today {something else that i have been neglecting}.

i picked up the ring, held it, examined it, and promised it not to forget about it for a very, very long time {i'm at the point where i don't feel anymore naked with or without it...}

anyway, i'm back. i promise. at least for a little while.

image waleed

111| twirling around the courtyard.

i love the little things in life. i had the most marvelous lunch in ages. i strolled around the market. i went to the paper store, and bought paper for a surprise for andrew's birthday {and an envelope for a job application}. i bought two figs that were juicy and delightful, and a pear that was crunchy and crisp. i bought fizzy water and pumpkin soup that was savoury and satisifed me as much as soup can {which for me, is a lot}.

i wanted desperately to twirl around the courtyard, but my hands were a bit full. so, instead i smile at the sun, and thanked it and walked on. only to find in the next courtyard over a little girl twirling with her doll.

image yoshiko

109| untitled.

my final day at practicum, and what am i up to? yep. photoshop. playing around with fun pictures of other people`s weddings. or celebrations. because really and true, a wedding is just a big kick-ass celebration that you don`t ever want to forget. and that is what my wedding is going to be.

the more i thought about all of this, the more i realized the importance to me, of being practical. and yet, being fun. but not too frivolous. also, for the record, captions marked with an asterik will be used in our wedding. as in, this is what this puppy is going to look like. {which only raises the question what the whole day will smell, sounds and taste like!}

from top left...

1. invitations from ello there *
2. strawberry jam from martha
3. merit badge, "for tying the knot", leemeszaros
4. bouquet from oncewed by way of tenthousandonly *
5. twig ring set from esdesigns *
6. wedding poster from ello there *
7. photograph from littlecookies
8. pom poms from pomlove * {we will be making our own, thank you}
9. cake from the girl with the most cake * {only uses buttercream. oh. so good}
10. dress from debra mcclinton via real simple
11. cake plate from eddie ross
12. photograph from photosforlife * {while we won`t be using mike the photographer, this is our venue}

104| quiet post, new york.

less than two months.
i hope there are balloons.

103| five things...i want to cook this summer.

remember all that talk about my bookmarked links at work? i think half of them are recipes: wonderful things that inspire me at work and remind me "hey, you there, get back to work, because then you can afford groceries this week to make such lovely things as us".

specifically, there are five that i am thrilled about this summer.

• flammekueche
• cake pops {these will be coming out for my birthday}
• lemony ricotta pasta with basil
• gazpacho
• violet and vanilla bean macarons

om nom nom.

98| rollercoasters, comfort

i love them. andrew hates them with a fiery passion. but despite my love for them, he is much better at dealing with days that are rollercoaster-like {ups and downs} than i am.

i truly like to find pleasure in the small things {i've been known to get excited about shower curtain shopping} . but it's also easier for me to dwell on small things.

today has been that type of a day...it started off with a job interview that had its ups and downs, followed by a meeting that went really well overall, and then good news and bad news from freecycle: i got the apron i inquired about, but not the typewriter {which i thought would be loads of fun for andrew's niece}. then i went out to pick up lunch, but it was raining, but not particularly hard. hard enough that i got wet, but not so hard that i could be pleased with looking ridiculous in all my watery glory.

however--and i'm sure this is a statement about how bad an emotional relationship i have with food--the highlight of my day {other than the apron} has actually been lunch. there is this amazing little german deli near my work that sells german sandwiches {meat, bread, nothing else} on amazing rye and kaiser breads and to-die-for-soups. nothing about this place is complicated, but everything about it whispers comfort. having lived in germany for a year, one of the many things i miss is the comfort food {large, soft pretzels, moist cheese, the bread. oh the bread. it's no wonder i gained 50 pounds that year!}. what made it even better is that it's budget friendly. my sandwich, soup, cheesecake {yes, cheesecake} and drink came to $6. i'm through my sandwich and soup as i type this, and dang, i'm getting full! it's not complicated, but it's some of the best comfort food i know of.

german town deli, please don't ever change.

96| links, slink

at home, i have my links organized by purpose and in a hierarchal structure, such as:

• entertainment
• eating
• shopping

under eating, i have recipes, restaurants, and blogs, under recipes i have "wedding menu", "baked goods" and "mains". under entertainment i have a whole variety of subfolders, ranging from "museums" to "photography". shopping includes "online stores", "real stores" and "indie artists" as well as "wedding registry" for the time being.

this is part of why i love opera and safari, they are very user-friendly things for organizing your internets. at work, we use internet explorer. and usually the things i save at work as favourites are recipes, and blog posts that i want to export after my contract is over. that said, my favourites sidebar is becoming crowded with beautiful posts like this that i want to remember for the wedding.

how do you organize your links?

94| grateful, yet busy

i have five job interviews between thursday and monday. five! i'm not complaining. i really think this is the greatest thing that could happen to me right now: to have a job lined up before my contract is completed!

but, i also recognize that between now and tuesday, my life is going to be consumed with things that are important, but not necessarily what i want to be doing. that is, if what i want to be doing is blogging, cooking, colouring {things other than maps}, planning my trip to new york over sushi, drinking with my teammates, and doing any sort of exhaling.

what i will be doing is researching, writing, editing, writing, editing, researching, writing, editing. and polishing: my resume, my shoes, my hair.

exhale. and go.

93| china, the dinnerware not the country

is it friday yet? let me start off by saying that i have been so inspired by so many pretty things to covet this morning. who the heck introduced me to shoestring? ah, yes. rachel, thank you...*sigh* so many pretty things, where to begin?

right, with last night's great china debate. andrew + i thought we had decided on our china {see above}, but over the past week or so i convinced myself i wasn't sold. i visited the company's website, and discovered that they fall into the "nice, but i question the quality of your product" cateogry of things, and really i don't want china that only lasts five years.

we went back to the place we registered and took a second look. i winced. andrew accepted defeat, and i tried to convince him of a lovely set that had birds on it. if only i were snow white.

it felt a little like wedding dress shopping. everything had to be "just perfect", except that i will be using this china for the next twenty-five or more years. which means that i should be able to:

• dishwash it.
  
• feed a crowd for a variety of different events on it.
  
• not fret too much about my child{ren) carrying it
  
• scrape it with a knife without mortal fears.
  
• dishwash it again.
  
• be able to pull it our for the day that real simple visits our house to do a photoshoot {ha} without panicking that it was completely in style when we received it, but lord does it look kitschy now.
  
• place it in multiple houses without it looking "off".
  
• dishwash it yet again.

i spent the morning on macy's website. why canada does not have a macy's is beyond me. i will in fact be making every effort to stop there when i go to new york. anyway, i have it narrowed down to four, which are below...

top left: martha stewart by wedgwood
top right: red blossom by mikasa
bottom left: gardner street by kate spade
bottom right: june lane by kate spade

so, faithful readers, which do you like the most? why? and do you know of anywhere in ontario that stocks kate spade?

92| levelling up.

i've done it all {almost}. i've blogged from work. i've blogged from my other job. i've blogged from the library. i've been caught tweeting in class. i also had my cellphone go off in class once, two years ago, and it resulted in the professor answering it and embarrassing andrew {who was on the other line} more than me.

now, i am blogging in class. except that lucky for me, class hasn't quite begun. however, this is precisely the reason why i do not bring my laptop to school, unless absolutely necessary. i imagine this will change when i start graduate school. {bonus mark: all graduate students at carleton drink evian. comment.}

anyway. dresses. i really want something whimsical, funny, flirty, feminine and all around pretty for summer. i have two weddings, convocation and a host of other great reasons to wear such a wonderful dress {reading under a tree, for example}. 

the hunt carries on.

91| best dress{ed}.

so, whilst i should be trying to figure out what viscount willingdon said when he inaugurated the carillon, i`m actually mildly more concerned what i will be wearing where i finally graduate from undergrad. and to my cousin`s wedding. and to a friend`s wedding. and hopefully for other fun events.

does anyone have any good leads on dresses? or halfway decent leads on good dresses?

89| window shopping, weddings

i know the world loves weddings. so do i. but i've also been coming across a few quirky things that made me go "wow, i want that at our wedding". and for the most part, andrew agrees. exhibit #1: a comment from nicole on 2000dollarwedding about her options for RSVPs:

____ Will attend with bells on
____ Will attend, free of bells
____ Will attend, undecided on bells
____ Will not attend, heard there will be people wearing bells
____ Will not attend, regardless of bell controversy

i couldn't stop laughing, and almost contacted our design guy to see if this was an option {even though the invitations already arrived}.

anyway, without further ado, a few things that i *really* would like to see at our wedding, which you won't find on theknot

galvanized buckets from ikea, for drinks, $10

vintage flash cards, for table numbers, $5

jam, in this case from julianas jam {but we will be making our own}, $4.50

bird, to be our ring "bearer", from BrooklynRehab, $14

88| taking a breath.

i've been on the go for five days straight: schoolwork, work-work, internship-work, training, blogging and reading {and yes, i will have more of that to do this weekend}.

for now, i need to take a big breath and relax. my body aches inside and out, and to be honest in the last sixteen hours i could have done a better job nursing it {though it got more sleep than i had anticiapted}.

with that in mind, blogging will be slow today, like the rest of me. but i promise i will have lots of adventures to post tomorrow and sunday!

87| girl, why i am.

this morning i faced an outerwear dilemma. like many girls, i covet pretty things. and often times, i choose the pretty over the practical. well, the weather was warm enough for a spring coat, but presently my only spring coat on hand is a yellow gap coat, which--while very lovely--would have been too much bright with my already bright skirt.

i do have another coat, you see. but it is missing about four buttons: three because it was poorly manufactured and i was too lazy to secure the buttons after i bought the coat, and one because i pushed my hands too deep in my pockets and popped a button {which is a tragic event when one is trying to lose weight}.

so, in the end, i opted for the black, oversized blazer that i own for the purpose of interviews only. i felt awkward because it was far too formal for the rest of my outfit, but i sucked it up anyways. also, it's not quite warm enough. whereas, my lovely taupe number without the buttons would have been.

i ran into a girl that i volunteered with this morning and she looked so professional, and so downright put together, especially give that she was working in an internship. it made me feel so very, blah. style envy ensued.

what do i plan about doing about this fair readers? i could buy a new jacket, but that would be well over $150. so, i won't.

i'm thinking i'm going to replace the buttons. perhaps not this weekend, but maybe next week sometime. given that it's a cargo style jacket, that's a lot of buttons. but it will be worth it. i'm also wondering if anyone can make any other suggestions for embellishments. the coat is about thigh length, and has little ruffles around the cuffs. then, i plan on buying an outrageously fabulous nicely patterned, albeit neutral scarf that i can wear with every single jacket in my closet {except maybe my ski jacket}.

{and this, my dears, is what i had writer's block over. yeesh}

85| here comes the sun

it's beautiful right now. and i'm stuck inside the office for another 15 minutes. at which point, i'm giving myself permission to leave early.

do you blame me? it's bright and sunny out, and a marvelously warm day. and i'm wearing my new. spring. clothes.

this calls for a celebration: a quick afternoon of coffee, shopping in the market, and finding trinkets for friends {and family}. i can hardly wait!


image sarahseven

83| restfullness

in the 72 hours of weekend, i slept for 36. which means that i am well rested. and i have no review for you of che other than the music was loud when it needed to be, and the end was pretty good. also, matt damon has a cameo. but i missed it.